mixed feelings?

I think I'm feeling a little down today. Every baby I see makes my heart hurt. It makes me think about trying to get pregnant again, even though I know of the heartbreak that can bring. But, adoption is what I believe God has asked us to do, and it's on his timeline. I'm just aching to hold our baby, wherever and whenever they are. Here's where the mixed feelings come in - I know others feel sad around this time of year because of the holidays, but I'm actually looking forward to them. I love spending these special times with the family I have. It may be easier on me because we already have Gabe to share these moments with, but I'm still waiting for our family to be complete. I know that little person is coming, and I just can't wait! I'm ready!