Saturday, September 24, 2011

My first 5k EVER!

I think my time was somewhere around 36:49, but I'll have to check the official time when they get them submitted. That's not very fast at all, but I just don't care. I jogged the whole thing at a steady pace, so I am very happy with myself. I probably wouldn't have even known about it if my friend Dusty hadn't mentioned it. I'm glad we did it together!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Mom Guilt

Today I wonder - Why is there such a large amount of mom-guilt attached to everything?

If I work, and my children go to a sitter I feel guilty for not being at home. If I take an unpaid vacation day and stay with the boys I feel guilty for not contributing to the family finances. Some days I'm glad to be out of this house and around adults! And then of course I feel guilty about that too. I feel guilty when I take time for myself and go running, and I leave my husband with the kids. I know this is good for them, and I know this is good for me. But I still feel like I have taken something from them. I struggle with getting the regular tasks accomplished (laundry, lunches, general cleaning) and still finding time to have quality time with my children. They need me. They also need me to get all those other things done at some point. I worry that I discipline too much, that I say no too much, and then I feel guilty. I wonder if I'm not doing it enough and they'll grow up to be hellions........ and that would really make me feel guilty! A friend just wrote about what a tough decision it was for them to choose to bottle feed. We have all struggled with that problem too! And you know what, I bet guilt was part of the equation somewhere for all of us if we ended up choosing the bottle for our child.

I wonder if all moms struggle with this balance. Most moms do I think, we just try not to talk about it. I think this is because admitting some of these things that make us feel guilty feels like we have admitted mommy failure. No one wants to admit to mommy failure. I wonder if we hold standards that are too high. I also wonder if we put this pressure on each other. I think we might..... just a little bit. Do I worry about what another mom might think of me when I admit some of these things? Yes I do! Do I put a lot of the pressure on myself? Oh yes....... I do!

I think it comes with the territory of being a mom. But when did it become necessary in our culture to be everywhere, and be everything to everybody?