prayers

I'm praying about quite a few adoption and pregnancy related things right now, but none of them are pertaining to me! lol A friend is taking injections trying to keep her 5th pregnancy and the outlook isn't good - she'll know today. She has one healthy child, but has had 3 miscarriages. It's so hard on her, and I've been there so I know how she feels. I'm praying for the new orphans the earthquake in Haiti created, and I'm hoping that the country can decide things quickly for their sakes. and a person I've never met before just posted a blog on adoptionvoices. She is 6 months pregnant w/twins and is having more trouble than any person should have while placing her children for adoption - read the post if you want, I'm not going to recap it. There's a possiblity that she's a scammer, but I'm going to pray for her anyway. Also, Tracy, the preacher's wife is considering going on a mission trip to an orphanage in China. Maybe all this praying for other people will help me refocus during this adoption process. I think that's what I need

beauty from ashes

Haitian orphans are being brought to the US to be adopted! How wonderful is that?! Not just for me, lol, for them! How amazing that their government allowed this instead of just shutting everything down. For once someone thought of the motherless and fatherless! Praise God! However, I'm curious about how this is going to work. Do the families need an international homestudy? If so, there's no way to get one approved - the Haitian government is in shambles right now. How will they make these adoptions legal? Is there some type of "calamity citizenship" offered by the US for such an occasion as this? I wish I knew the answers, because boy is this a situation that's close to my heart. My dad went to Haiti when I was 4 and I remember it vividly. I still have a maraca that he brought me. That was my dream growing up - to go on a mission trip to Haiti like my dad. Well, life happens you know, and there was never an opportunity. Wouldn't it be wicked awesome to have a Haitian mission trip right here? and wouldn't it be even awesomer (haha) to fulfill one of my heart's greatest desires at the same time? Oh who knows what will happen, not me that's for sure. But I do know that our God is GREAT. And I'm so thankful that the orphans are being adopted. Even if we're not part of it, I am so full of thanksgiving for all involved with that.

wondering

I am very thankful for my life, my husband, our son, our home, our church family, everything we have! So I wonder, why am I consumed with this desire/obsession over becoming a mommy again? I have so much here to keep me busy, so much to be thankful for. I shouldn't want more! But I can't just lay these thoughts aside - they will not go. Part of me feels that if Im truly thankful for everything I have, than I wouldn't want anymore. But, that's obviously not the case. I am ready for a little one! What's a girl to do?

no foster adoption for us

We are not a match with the foster child that we inquired about. We were informed that our son is too close to his age, and he has many needs. I suppose they think we won't be able to handle the needs of two little ones in the house at the same time. At least we got a fast answer. All the other foster children that we are homestudy approved for (those who are under 2 years old) have even more severe medical needs. This really depresses me - I would love to adopt a foster child! I know at least one of them lives in a medical facility, and not even in a home. Sometimes you have the capacity to help, and sometimes you just don't. Maybe later in life. We do want to be foster parents when our current children are grown. Only time will tell.

decisions?

Well, right now we are considering adopting a 1 yr old from foster care. He has a lot of delays, and has a family history of mental retardation, but I keep thinking about him. From what they listed, I think we would probably be able to manage his needs pretty well, but who knows. I don't know anything about the process when you are adopting from foster care, or how long it takes, or anything! I joined an adoption group for those who are adopting from foster care, so hopefully I can get some questions answered. Who knows what we will be led to do...... but the worst part is in the not knowing. for me anyway.

random ramblings

Well, I am enjoying today. We have lots of clean laundry that has been put away (a miracle!), and we are watching Scamper the Penguin. It may be the most poorly made movie that we own, but Gabe loves it so we are in our fourth viewing. sigh.

I'm doing ok with the fact that we weren't chosen the other day. Someone else had their prayers answered yesterday, and God knows best. I do think that a situation like that one would be perfect for our family. It was quick - which is great for me because I can't stand to wait for anything, and it would have been a closed adoption for Craig. Let me clarify - Craig is willing to do an open adoption, but I know he would be less nervous and more comfortable if it was a more closed adoption. When the right time comes, we won't be given anything more or less than we can handle I'm sure.

I've been in the baby's room a few times putting things away, or moving things around, and haven't been too depressed. Someday soon (hopefully) a beautiful baby will be sleeping in that crib. I may have to come to grips with the fact that my children may be farther apart in age than I wanted, but again, God knows best. It might be better this way. My brother and I were about 4 years apart and we got along really well!

We have a few things to get in order before a baby comes along anyway - the washer is broken! We either have to fix it or get a new one; I'm not going to the laundromat with a newborn and a 3 year old every week! and we need to get that new light/fan combo installed in the baby's room. I also need to contact the company that made the crib and get those stabilizer pieces so the drop down rail won't drop down anymore - due to all the recalls. So, there are a few things to do, we'll be busy. Not that Gabe doesn't keep us busy enough..........

The new year is coming! This also means that we have been in the adoption process for a year. But our profile has only been circulating for about 6 months - we thought we had to complete a home study first (we got some wrong information). I'm trying not to be discouraged with the adoption process, it is what it is. I'm just hoping that something happens for us soon. I know God has a plan - and he has the perfect baby for our family already chosen for us. Everytime the answer is "no" it does provide some comfort to know that it really was someone else's baby. God already had the plan in motion. Kinda stinks that we have to get all excited and hopeful before we find that part out, but oh well. lol.

I think I'm gonna use my new neck massaging pillow now..... it was just as good of a Christmas present for Craig as it was for me! He's off the hook every once in a while now!

the answer

alright people - the answer is no. another adoptive family was chosen. They said that the criteria was really close and they had to choose the family that had been waiting the longest. that was a little comforting. They also said they have some "activity" and wanted to know if we would be willing to have our profile shown by them again - we said yes of course. They also said that we have a great potential to be matched. so that's the news. Thanks for praying with us!